Fear and Anxiety of Giving Birth: Do I Need to get rid of These Feelings?

Overcoming Fear and Anxiety About Labor I can't tell you how many times I've had anxious clients ask me, “How do I get rid of fear and anxiety about labor? If I can’t get past these feelings, it will affect my labor, and things won’t go how I want them to.”

I tend to approach new experiences with a mix of excitement and hesitation. Starting a new job, moving, or a new relationship can feel both exciting and anxiety-producing. While we want to embrace new experiences, our minds and bodies also wonder what’s ahead. Fear is our brain’s way of trying to protect us. Racing thoughts, tightness in your chest, unsettled feelings—that’s your body’s way of keeping you safe, helping you prepare or react.

Rather than judge yourself for feeling fear, try to reframe these emotions as an adaptation—your body’s way of looking out for you. Maybe the question isn’t “How do I get rid of fear?” but rather, “How can I notice it, befriend it, and turn it into confidence?” Could it be that the goal isn’t to birth without fear but rather to embrace it as a normal part of the experience?

5 Tips for Reducing Fear of Labor

1. Know What to Expect Information is power! Becoming familiar with the birth process can help alleviate anxiety. Take a childbirth education class, watch birth videos, and read positive birth stories. Understanding your choices during labor can help you feel involved in the process rather than feeling like it’s happening to you. 2. Use Affirmations to Reframe Your Thoughts Create a list of phrases that counteract your fears. Some great affirmations include:

• “I can do this.”
• “Me and my baby are safe.”
• “Every contraction brings me closer to meeting my baby.”
• Write these affirmations on sticky notes and place them around your home as reminders of your strength and capability. 3. Build a Supportive Birth Team Labor is something only you can do, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Who’s on your team? Your medical provider, partner, and birth doula all play essential roles. Identify what support you need, and practice receiving that support before labor begins. 4. Seek Out Positive Birth Stories You may have noticed that everyone has a birth story to share with a pregnant person, including complete strangers. Often, these birth stories are somewhat factual but often full of warnings and negativity. Not only are these stories scary, but they also lack context and background. Consider shutting down unwanted horror birth stories with a “thanks for thinking of me, but I’m really trying to surround myself with positivity.” Seek out people and information that reinforces relevant information and describes the normalness of labor/birth.   5. Practice Self-Compassion Fear of the unknown is natural, but self-compassion can help you navigate it. Speak to yourself with kindness, as you would a close friend. Instead of saying, “I’m so anxious about birth,” try, “It’s okay to feel hesitant—this is a big experience.”

Embracing Confidence Alongside Fear

Rather than trying to eliminate fear, the goal is to counterbalance it with confidence. Engage with your thoughts, reframe them, and trust in your ability to navigate birth. Your body was made for this, and you have the knowledge and support you need to welcome your baby with strength and resilience. Rather than judge yourself, reframe these feelings as part of your body’s natural response—an adaptation designed to keep you safe. You’ve got this!